Somewhere in Finland - a certain pregnant lady should be asleep..."Chinese Post-Pregnancy Remedies" - near the bottom!

This is a bit of a rant post - so feel free to skip this by all means (or scroll down to the pregnant Chinese remedy - it's a laugh).
It's 3:58am presently. I've been awake since 3:30. I went to bed at 12am on the dot - conked out completely with the dogs.
I woke up at least 2x to use the bathroom like a zombie - in the dark and barely functional.
I woke up because Blue came to bed and left the bed and came to bed and left the bed and finally crawled in bed and I said - F it. I'm going to the couch. It's colder and more spacious and my right hip is in pain again. (Do dogs get hot flashes or nightmares and need to come back to hog their "rightful share" of the bed?!?!)
Needless to say - I haven't touched the couch - too cranky. I feel like I'm roasting internally (no the forehead is cool and the neck is too). I just opened the balcony door open a few inches....it's presently -1C but with windchill -5C. FEELS GREAT.

Read a great book over the last couple of days "Vince & Joy" - Lisa Jewell (?). Very hilarious as most London based stories go.
I'm in the process of crocheting another pair of mittens for myself - a thicker wool (like the one from the famous flower slouchy hat and the blue toque) - so I'm pretty excited.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
** Please note - I am not responsible for any action you may take if you choose to follow these "remedies" - they're merely for general knowledge of old school Chinese culture/beliefs. I don't plan on doing any of them for the most part.

Okay - not sure if I mentioned this before - but my birth father is in China and has continuously told me this (prior to me getting pregnant) about what to do after you deliver a baby. Hope you're sitting down and emptied your bladder. ** This is what I was told by my birth father and apparently the Chinese have followed this for thousands of years. I say this is bull - but I thought you'd be interested.**

When you're in labour (apparently he's under the impression that natural labour goes slower than a medically assisted one - i.e. Epidural) - your joints loosen. Your joints loosen because A) the baby sucked up a lot of calcium during your pregnancy and is still going! and B) because your are puting a lot of pressure into pushing and therefor everything loosens up naturally.
So once you're done having your baby - you SHOULD NOT SHOWER FOR 30 DAYS. Because no matter HOW HOT your shower is - there are cold water particles in the hot water and they will attack your joints (now that there's gaps in between them) and you will develop arthritis in the years to come. Apparently my biological aunt has this issue and she's not even 40 - my cousin Dora being about 8 years old now.

So what does one do to bathe for 30 days post-delivery?
You're supposed to boil water and fill a tub with slices of raw ginger root (along with the boiled water) and have a bottle of rice wine poured in there too and sponge bathe yourself. My question is this - WHO HAS A BIG ENOUGH POT TO BOIL ENOUGH WATER TO FILL A TUB?! My argument and logic is that by the time you use your seasonal lobster pot to boil water and get it poured into the tub - and actually have the tub reasonably filled to your hips at least when sitting in it - the water would be cold. Or at least be colder than a shower - which would contain those darn pesky cold water particles that will STILL ATTACK your joints.
Hmm. I wrote this response numerous times and get the same crap-ass answer each time. "It's been proven for thousands of years Dominique - you cannot deny Chinese medication and remedies..."
This time I added a twist in my response - Finns don't have bath tubs. BAHAHAHA. I am awaiting a response.

Now in this particular e-mail I recently received - I have more "good Chinese remedies" for all you preggo ladies out there.

- Eat nuts - especially walnuts - develops more baby brain (same with fish - careful Tuna and shark {or maybe it's sword fish} contain a lot of mercury)
- All of your cooking should contain ginger - it keeps "the bad wind away"
- You cannot put anything in your mouth that is directly from the fridge because it's too cold and this would affect your joints
- Stay at home as much as you can for the first 30 days - "Get Tim to help you as much as you can"
- Don't eat watermelon
- Cook fish soup - this helps you produce more milk to breast feed. You can put melon in the soup but cannot eat watermelon on it's own...

There ya have it. Please comment - I'm curious as to your thoughts of this.
Well it's 4:36am - time to possibly crash on the couch.