How To Help And Offend...AT THE SAME TIME!

A couple weeks ago (I know - total slacker with my blogging...), Jyv�skyl� was a sheet of ice.  I'm not just referring to the lakes either!
The sidewalks were horrendous to walk on but as the sun peeked out more and more  - most of the side walk ice began to melt - yay!
But there were still a lot of rough and icy patches I assure you!  I have the busted up bruised knees to prove it.

Anyways, I decided to get my hair cut after my Finnish lessons one day and then grab the bus to head to a knitting group.
While waiting for the bus, I dug out the latest Sookie Stackhouse ("True Blood") novel and was enjoying trying to figure out who killed so and so...and what will happen with Eric and Sookie...or Bill..or Tara's pregnancy!
Sorry, did I get side-tracked?
This little old lady came walking over and there was a huge patch of ice in front of the bus stop and I noticed she had a cane with a rubber bottom - she didn't use the metal pick attachment.  Brave lady.
I kept an eye on her to make sure she got to the bench safely and she did.
After a couple minutes she asked me a series of questions in Finnish - I don't dare to try to write them down IN Finnish but my guesses in English instead, along with my responses in Finnglish.
*Please note:  When I hear Finnish now, I pick out the words I DO know and try to string them into a sentence to figure out what is being said/asked!  Also, please excuse any poor spelling in Finnish or Finnglish.*

• What book are you reading?
  "Englangtia!" - me so proud of myself...
• Oh English.  I have 2 boys and one lives in America and married an American (amerikkalainen) and they have children.
  "Joo.  (Me being super brave and thinking "maybe I'll use some of the Finnish I learned today!")
  M� olen kanadalainen."  (My inner Finnish-learning goddess does a happy dance since I repeatedly said this at least 20 times that day in class).
• "MIN�!" she screeches at me.
  *BANG*  There goes all my confidence...a quickly deflated balloon floating to the patch of ice on the ground...
  "Oh.  Min� olen..." I whisper meekly...but I double checked with other Finns later and they think it depends where she's from and perhaps "Min� olen" is the old-fashioned way...and my schoolwork still says "M� OLEN"...so there.  (Perhaps it's an issue of written versus spoken..anyway - clearly I'm still learning!)
• "Is your husband Finnish?"
  "Ei, kanadalainen." (Confidence slowly building...)
• "Does he live in Finland?"
  "Joo, asun Laajuavuoressa!" ("Yes, I live in Laajuavuori!" WAHOO - I'm getting there!)

Insert some quiet Finnish silence...then I dip my toes in the water again...
"Mulla on kaksi lastaa." (I have two children.)
She then continued to converse with me and all was fine in the world.

THEN the bus came.  

I flagged down the bus and she dug out her bus pass in her right hand and held onto her cane with her left.  I shuffled on the ice then turned back to help grab her RIGHT elbow to help her across the ice.

Well, she clearly thought I was going to rob her of her bus pass...because she had a look of fear on her face.

SERIOUSLY.

So I pointed to the ice and the bus and showed that I was trying to help her - not steal her freaking bus pass.
She then snootily told me that she did not need my help.

Fine - I got on the bus and that was it.

After sharing this experience on Facebook, some Finnish friends advised me to not take it too seriously or to heart that I was rejected to help her NOT break her bones because older Finns tend to be pretty darn un-grateful at times of need.
One friend mentioned that she helped this elderly lady carry her groceries X flights of stairs and made sure she got into her apartment safely and the lady didn't even thank her.  Just slammed the door in her face and that was it.
Not that my friend expected anything more than a "Kiitos!" (Thanks!) which takes all of 2 seconds to muster the courage and say it...and is free.

Thankfully, I do not use that bus stop very often - if at all.