The Drunker The Finn - The Braver They Are!

Now this is not a story that happened to me - very unfortunate and you'll see why soon.

My husband had to go pick up a visiting scholar from the train station and take him out to dinner then drop him off at their hotel last night - as they had never been to Jyv�skyl� before.
Afterwards he decided to go for a beer with a colleague and they were having a good time chit-chatting when a couple of Finnish drunks asked if they could join them.  There was plenty of available seating but because they were speaking in English - the drunk Finns were VERY interested in their conversation.
After some basic discussion about where my husband is from and why he is living here (I assume that's what they asked because that's what we ALWAYS get asked - ask any foreigner!) one of the fellows says to my husband:

"You have pretty eyes."

The hubby just said thanks and one of the other drunks said: "You're very handsome."

Now, I'd like to point out that these are 2 very drunk Finnish men.  They are straight according to Tim but when I asked why in the world would they pick that sentence to practice their English with, he responded to me with: "I think they just tried to use every English word they knew."

So if you ever encounter a drunk Finn - you're probably quite safe as they just REALLY want to speak English to you and learn about your culture and where you are from!
Alcohol in large amounts encourages Finns to do what they normally wouldn't do if they were sober and not in a party/put-on-the-spot kind of position...like talking in a different language and to a foreigner!

A Drunk Versus A Doctor

You're probably thinking that the title of this post is some sort of bar-fight kind of joke in Finland.
No it's not - sorry.

A couple of days ago, my husband returned from Germany and I instantly rushed to catch the bus so I could go downtown and relish in my freedom from the children and the dogs and pick up groceries for everyone.  Exciting - I know.

As I rushed to the bus stop nearby an older gentleman was standing near and backed up - perhaps out of politeness or perhaps out of pure fear of the crazy lady speed walking with a strong look of determination on her face.
He then decided to sit beside me and I had about 7 minutes to kill, so I began to crochet.
DM (Drunk man) didn't smell too badly of booze but his bag he had contained empty bottles and eventually he struck a conversation up with me.  I think he was asking if I was from Japan.
I apologized and said I don't speak Finnish.
"Ohhhhh you speak English?" he says in a rusty voice that has been abused by too many cigarettes and booze.
I nod, smile and get back to my crocheting.
He starts another conversation, asking if I was knitting a "pipo" - a winter cap or "toque" as Canadians know it...(This was in Finnish).
I shook my head and said hesitantly, "Ei.  Takki?" (No. Jacket?)
He nodded and smiled and I think asked if I had kids or was expecting one (gee thanks) and I said, "I have kaksi poika" (I have two boy).  He nodded and smiled (I was crocheting a pink sweater for a tiny baby so obviously it's not for me he figures) and asked how old they were.
"Uks poika on kaksi vuotta (one boy is 2-years old) ja uks poika on kymmenen (and one boy is 10)".
He looked me strangely because it's odd that I have a 2 and 10 year old - then I motioned low to the ground and said 10 again in Finnish and said "vauva (baby)".
Months is a hard word for me to pronounce but he figured it out.
He then decided to show off his new sneakers and talk a bit and the same story to some other lady waiting.
Unfortunately, he didn't have enough money to get on the bus so I never saw him again.

Fast forward a couple of days and I finally get the call from the doctor about V's knee x-rays.
I managed to make out her name (Helena) and that's it.  She is literally waiting for me to tell her why she is calling me.
In the mean time, V is out the door and rushing through the parking lot...and I'm on the phone trying to get V to a speech therapy appointment...and bring the stroller and make sure he doesn't get killed.
"Are you a doctor?  I asked for x-ray results." -me
"Yes.............................................(about 5-10 seconds pause) I am a doctor............where did you have x-rays?" -her
"At the hospital!" (DUH?!) - me
"Oh......................................I don't see you visiting or having x-rays....."
"NOT FOR ME!  My son! (insert name)" - me
"...............................................What is his number?" - her

This is the fun part.   Everyone in Finland has a social security number made up of their birthday and some combination at the end.  This identifies you and is used for EVERYTHING:

• Kela card
• Application papers (even day-care)
• Insurance
• Residence Permits 
• Bank accounts
• Cell phones
• Etc.

So - it's pretty simple - first numbers are 03.

"Zero, three (insert remaining numbers)" -me

"...................zero................" -her
"Yes, like "oh" or 'zero'" - me

"............................................................zero.....................hmm............Ok I say 1,2,3 you stop me.  1..........2...................3........." - her

"Nalle!" me desperately trying in Finnish - Nalle is Winnie the Pooh...it should have had a more "o" sound instead.

"..........zero..........." -her

"LIKE NOTHING!" - by this point I have captured V and strapped him in his stroller and am hoofing it down the road to the therapist's office.

"OH!  Zero - yes I understand!"

She tells me after that she will call the nurse and call me back.

By the time she does, the phone reception is bad in the office but I manage to hear her say the x-ray results are okay.

I just wanted to know if it will affect him in the future but I guess that's out of the question because she called from a central number in the hospital and they never called me back.

So, in short - the drunk understood my Finnglish (excuse the poor spelling above!) and the doctor did not know the word "zero".  A friend pointed out that everyone knows "zero", especially "Coke Zero" - but if she's a doctor, she probably doesn't drink it.  And YES I realize English is not her strong point but most doctors here DO speak SOME level of English...

And this is just another one of those "experiences"....